Jul 212013

I was a few months pregnant with my second set of twins before I saw the proof of what was wrong in my marriage. As I soaked belly deep in a tub full of tears I told the Father that I couldn’t go on. The “D” word was in my future, though after watching my faithful parents brave ups and downs I couldn’t have imagined it would ever be. I had cooked him steaks at two in the morning. I wrote love letters. I wore lingerie…I liked lingerie! “I can’t do this!” I sobbed, and all manner of ocean life would have thrived happily in my saltwater bath.

Be real or go home, that’s kinda my blogging motto.

The Father’s response that night wasn’t a cheery “Sure you can!” or even a leading toward divorce. What the Father spoke to my heart so clearly has been my prayer for the past seven years.

“I know you can’t,” He whispered, “but I can. And if you stay, I will make a miracle out of your marriage.” “Something beautiful,” I would later hear. And I’ve waited…and I’ve waited…and I’ve waited though difficult times and separations that I didn’t seek. “Where is this beautiful thing?” I’ve daftly pleaded while watching beautiful children run barefoot over beautiful mountains. Precious times of prayer have fallen back down from Heaven as lovely cascades of tears. As I’ve waited, He’s grown my five amazing children and allowed me to parent them according to His leading. He’s given me vision for ministry and words to write–even words to say.


broken marriage

“Do not shame him, not for one second!” I yelled at my sweet friend who had just discovered porn in her almost ten year marriage. I broke down on the other end of the phone and told her about the words I wished I could take back. “You can never take them back,” I warned sternly, “so watch what you say. Don’t let Satan use you in his life. You have to be on his side every second or neither of you will ever win. Look at him with honor and respect and lie close to him in bed tonight. You can do this, through Yeshua you can!”

As I hung up the phone I dropped to the floor, not to pray but because I couldn’t stand. Every ounce of strength was drained from my body and I watched as jealousy and pride crawled eagerly toward me. In that moment in my incredible weakness I just wanted my marriage back. I didn’t want to help others mend theirs! Then I wept out of pain that runs deeper than blood and screamed, “Is this my something beautiful?!”

My inbox is filled with heartbreaking prayer requests from women too precious to ignore, and my sent folder is filled with replies. “Is this my something beautiful?”

If you gripe to me about your marriage I will probably take your husband’s side and encourage you to change the person you can change—you.

“Is this my something beautiful?”

I would still love to see my marriage restored and would eagerly welcome a healed husband home, but I believe that this, here and now, is my something beautiful. So I am here, eager to serve and to share my mistakes and my victories. I will cry with you at three in the morning, and I will count your successes as my own. Is this the fulfillment of something beautiful that God promised to bring  through my marriage? Only He knows that; but if it’s all there ever is, it’s enough.

Hi, I’m Sarah, and I’m a single mom with a marriage ministry. Children and families are my passion. I’m a has been (or never was) mommy blogger who is truly humbled to be here, and I can’t wait to get to know you all.

Sarah Hawkes Valente is a nine year veteran to the world of Mommy-blogging. She began blogging after watching God perform a resuscitation on her young marriage. Her debut book, “31 Days to Lovely: a journey of forgiveness,” is based on her experiences. Today, Sarah runs Whatever is Lovely Publications LLC. www.whatislovely.com

  6 Responses to “Picking up Something Beautiful”

  1. […] [read the rest at whatislovely.com] […]

  2. as always, GOD speaks through you to me and to many others… Thank you…

  3. Thank you so much for helping me in my time of struggle. You were there for me when I needed you and I am forever grateful. May God continue to bless you and provide your every need. We serve a Might God and He can do more than we could ever imagine possible. Listen to this song “No need to doubt him now” I think it will help you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-A6lE15mM8

    • You’re so welcome. Thank YOU so much! All of you (and my children, of course) really make my life so much richer than I could have ever dreamed. I don’t have what I wanted, but I’m a lucky girl. :)

  4. Dear Sarah,
    Well, I went from watching the restoration of Jacob and Laura Neester from less than a month ago. I could have been watching myself and my husband. Word-for-word. And today I saw your testimony. And saw that early on you had struggled and God had restored. And now you are a single mother. And that is also my story. My husband left at 5 years of marriage. We were separated for one year and God brought us back together. For 12 years. And he has left again. And while I believe that God is leading me to continue to pray for complete restoration, I am also understanding that perhaps what He will allow me to do as a result of this will be the ‘something beautiful’ that He promised for my marriage. That perhaps there will be no 3rd time. I will admit that I am struggling to accept that. Letting go is always so hard. Finding a new dream. Knowing that God will enable me to mother these young men to be Godly men. And realizing that I am in some ways free now..free to truly study and understand Torah and practice it in my home. I am dealing with some confusion I suppose as well. So I suppose you have found another single mother who will be reading your trials and triumphs. Glad to have found you. Thank you for your faithfulness.

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